Self-Acceptance Coaching
FROM CROWNED REGAL, SELF-ACCEPTANCE ADVOCATE AND TRANSFORMATIONAL EXPERT
Self-acknowledgment is holding onto yourself as you are at this moment, paying little heed to your past.
How does this relate to having alopecia in our society?
People with alopecia usually look different than most. Because of this, they may be suffering from many different issues such as social anxiety, emotional and mental issues. There are many studies that show people who suffer from severe hair loss can have serious problems with self-esteem. One limitation of the research is that the association between alopecia and depression or anxiety may be confounded by stressful life events, which may trigger both the alopecia and the depression or anxiety. Alopecia is actually considered to be a form of disfigurement that can affect a person's sense of self and identity.
I experienced all of the above after losing my hair to the disease as I mentioned in my story about my hair loss history. I followed many of the coaching techniques described below which greatly contributed to me arriving at a place of self-acceptance and self-love. I've put together a small list below. I am not a health care professional so I encourage you to read the information, do your own research and seek a trained licensed professional for more information regarding your own social, physical, emotional and mental wellness.
Mindfulness assumes a major part of self-acknowledgment. As you build up the capacity to pick up information about yourself you will turn out to be increasingly ready to acknowledge and enhance those zones where you need certainty.
Self-acknowledgment takes some work. You must have the capacity to get to a place where you know and comprehend your identity, and that implies that you will probably need to roll out a few improvements. Self-acknowledgment additionally implies that you may need to confront a few feelings of dread and venture outside of your customary range of familiarity. It's tied in with having the capacity to isolate your identity from what you've done. It's tied in with the understanding that everybody commits errors, and that is the way we learn and develop.
Tolerating yourself doesn't really mean loving each part of yourself. That will come later, with self esteem. It implies being ready and ready to encounter all that you think, feel, or do, regardless of the possibility that you don't generally like it. In the event that you don't acknowledge yourself, you will feel embarrassed or humiliated about your identity.
Self-Acceptance
In my case, change was a scary dark place at first. As an alopecian woman, I found it extremely difficult to accept the massive change in my looks, emotions and physical aspects.
At first, I didn't want to accept changing, rather, I wanted to just hide the parts of myself. This made making a permanent and positive transformation almost impossible.
It's was only when I accepted all the parts of me that I started to set goals that were achievable and made me feel good about myself. Below are some of the things I experienced to get through the change:
Acknowledge the change. Recognizing and accepting change is one of the first steps towards managing it.
Face your fears. Explore why and what you are so fearful of and face those fears. Write down those fears or create a journal. This can be very calming and helps with sorting complex feeling out. Seek outside help from a professional if you feel you need to and don't feel guilty about doing so. There are resources available for things like this in the form of therapists, medical doctors, reading materials, support groups, forums, etc.
The most important thing to remember is that you don't have to give into being a victim. This only weakens you and will keep you from being able to move on successfully.
Don't dwell on negative thoughts. Once you feel them creeping in, replace them with positive thoughts. Don't try and reason with your negative thoughts. This is wasted energy and thoughts.
Communicate your thoughts to people who care about you and to those who can effectively help you process the changes you are going through such as a medical professional or a close family member.
Try and stay calm. Reduce stress as much as possible. Conserving your energy is key. Some examples of how you can do this could be by focusing on your health, nutrition, or spiritualiy. In my case I did all of the above and practiced yoga and meditation, some instruction led and other times just me in my quiet time.
Focus on the big picture. What is your goal with regards to the change? Where would you like to see yourself? The bottom line is, change is inevitable. Don't waste time trying to fight it. Embrace it. Change can be unnerving and troublesome. In any case, with the correct state of mind, you can find opportunities in that change.
Change
Some people have a reasonable feeling of their identity and where they are going in life. They know about their qualities and shortcomings and the nature of their identities. While others have less of a clear vision of who they are with regard to to their identities and their ideas. People like this usually don't have a positive outlook on their identity. According to research these individuals have a direct correlation with having low self -esteem.
So how does one achieve self-clarity? In my humble opinion, I don't feel that there is a black and white answer to this question. Based on my own life experiences, I believe there are many factors and acheiving clarity may be different for each individual. It's a personal experience and takes some real soul searching. It' can be hard work but worth the outcome.
Below are some things I've experienced in my own journey:
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Make better informed and focused decisions.
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Pinpoint the specific causes of unhappiness in your life.
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Stop the habit of self-sabotaging your peace-of-mind.
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Try positively influencing people around you.
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Set important and meaningful goals for your short and song term happiness.
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Stay true to your life's purpose and don't steer away from your core values.
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Establish strong relationships with family, friends an peers
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Focus on your emotions. Study them, understand your triggers.
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Clarity
For me, understanding myself was the first step. If you don't understand yourself then how can you possibly communicate with others? Make sense right?
Let's explore.
With me, I needed to understand my feelings, the good and the bad with regards to my hair loss. Once I understood this, I could let others know how I felt about myself. Particularly the bad stuff. It was was there that I needed the most help. I reached out to love ones and sought out professional help. Being able to communicate my feelings contributed to my success in my journey to self-acceptance.
So, in closing, accepting the yourself is a must for building and maintaining better relationships.The only way you can come to a place of self-acceptance is by communicating the way you feel about yourself to others. When you avoid communicating your feelings about yourself, the more stress, anxiety, distrust and anger you feel inside. This can only lead to obvious health issues such as depression, anxiety among other things. I learned this the hard way.
Communication
Creativity
By nature, I've always been a creative person. I'm at my best when I'm creating something, be it artwork, decorating my home, doing my hair, etc. I'm at my happiest during these times. It's a form of self-expression. Below are some examples I've used to exhibit my creativity. Some were self-learned and others were instructor-led by professionals.
Art and therapy -
A form of psychotherapy involving the encouragement of free self-expression through painting, drawing, or modeling, used as a remedial activity or an aid to diagnosis.
Dream board-
A dream board (or vision board) is a visual tool that serves as a guide to your goals for the future. It is a visual representation of your dreams and your ideal life.A vision board is a tool used to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal. Literally, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life.
Coloring-
Art Therapy, Adult Coloring Books and Your Mental Health
According to the American Art Therapy Association, art therapy is a mental health profession in which the process of making and creating artwork is used to "explore feelings, reconcile emotional conflicts, foster self-awareness, manage behavior and addictions, develop social skills, improve reality orientation, reduce anxiety and increase self-esteem." For me it was an amazing form of personal expression and relaxation that got me through some really low times. It afforded me quiet time and helped me look inward and tap into my feelings about my own existence.
Journaling-
Self concept is such a very strong thing, most especially taking into account that it’s embedded deeply in our thoughts. I believe that once you begin to think or view yourself practically and lovingly, you'll begin to understand unrestricted self-love and self acknowledgment. Journaling brought me to a place of discovery. I discovered feelings about myself I didn't realize existed and allowed me to open up about feelings I had buried deep inside that needed to be unleashed.Some were good feelings, some bad, nevertheless, they needed to be dealt with in order for me to feel good about myself.
Music therapy-
Studies have shown that music therapy has proven to influence the self-confidence and self-esteem. This is in direct effect with acquiring a good sense of self-acceptance. You may or may not agree with the studies, however, my experience with music therapy is significant to my journey to self-acceptance. In fact, I use it to help maintain my sense of self on a daily basis. It keeps me calm, centered, emotionally and mentally stable and is directly responsible for my ongoing sense of clarity.
Bottom line, the findings indicate that creative activity contributes to successful sense of competence, purpose, and growth. All these factors add up to a good sense of self. I know all of the above helped in my journey to self-acceptance.